No matter how much you love someone, some people are EXHAUSTING to be around. Multiply that by a hundred if you are not allowed to walk away from them due to their being your child (or your boss.)
Maybe we all shouldn’t worry about trying to always stay calm, or to SEEM calm to others.
Calm is a multi-layered thing. And you may feel mentally calm but your body can be stressed due to the need to restrain the child. Or you may be furious inside but manage to stay calm, steady, gentle on the outside. (I'm famous for that one, although it seems to actually provoke certain people into trying to make me "crack." Ah, the male half of humanity...)
It's hard to control what chemicals your body is sending through the veins! J's meltdowns are certainly not as severe as some other children with issues, but they still exhaust me, and shake me at the core.
I think my greatest tool for this isn't staying calm, but rather being able to heal and regroup quickly once it's over. Which is good to let our children witness, too. Early childhood professionals often say, "It's all about the REPAIR work."
Here's to unsinkable resiliency!!!
1 comments:
I think parenting is the hardest thing. There is so much conflicting advice out there, let alone hashing through your own thoughts and feelings on the subject matter.
For me, the biggest thing is being true to yourself. I have no idea what that means in the moment exactly, and a better idea of what it means in times in between. But if you're not true to yourself first, you'll definitely send your child mixed messages. And let's face it, sometimes it's hard enough at face value!
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