To celebrate Unity on this first night of Kwanzaa, usually we light the first candle, I sing my little song of the Nguzo Saba, Darius tries to pay attention and J either keeps talking about something else or he squirms to get down to business and eat.
This year hasn't been so "banner," especially since my job decided that a way to make their business ends meet when their revenue dried up in November was to stop paying the workers. So I haven't been paid for the last month. Thus I'm exhausted from the extra work it takes to make gifts for almost everyone instead of just buying stuff -- plus several events going out to sell my African skin care products and clothing.
But I am very excited about our growth since last Kwanzaa. Our living room has only 3 out of a billion gifts opened: the rest sit patiently, still wrapped, left for another day's greedy fingers. Because suddenly my child has become more excited about people and interactions, about building and problem-solving, then just having a bunch of stuff. I'm so proud I'm in shock. Or that could be the sleep deprivation..?
So we built our first marble run tonight, together. Sure, the tv was on. And there was no elaborate prayer or song at mealtime. But I honor Umoja (Unity) tonight. J and I seem to be cooperating more as a team lately -- real give and take, real problem-solving together.
Of course I still sometimes have to drag him off the computer for dinner etc. But our creation tonight, of wood and grooves and a marble, is about our finding the balance in this team. I can be responsible and in charge, yet he has the freedom to input and to challenge anything that feels really wrong to him. This safety seems to be increasing his creativity. Motor-planning, schmotor schmanning! For once, he took on an open-ended toy and saw possibilities instead of its lack of steps. And I let him try and fail and try again, while being there with him enjoying his company. In Unity.
